Blog Posts

What Do You Think You Deserve?

2/25/2015

Deserve: To earn by service; to be worthy of (something due, either good or evil); to merit; to be entitled to;

The word 'deserve' can be used in many ways. People often say they 'deserve' better wages or better housing or perhaps, a larger amount in their SS checks.
Or, parents tell children, "I 'deserve' respect and obedience." Sometimes, they tell the child, they 'deserve' a punishment of some kind.
I'm sure we have all heard people lament, after a calamity of some sort, "What did I do to 'deserve' this?"

I read this morning of a man who won millions by purchasing one lottery ticket. Did he 'deserve' to win? He didn't do anything spectacular; just spent a couple bucks on a ticket, but he had the RIGHT ticket. Did he 'earn' the right to win? No bu I would bet he would like to set off some fireworks in celebration.

Then there are times we proclaim our wrath by saying someone 'deserved' the sentence or consequences they received. "He/she got what they deserved!" Or perhaps they didn't get what we think they deserved for their crimes.

What started my thoughts on the word 'deserve?' I will tell you. Nearly a year ago, I took one of my hearing aids in for repair. When they gave me an estimated cost, I decided I could function with using only one. Several months ago, the second one needed some repair. The cost was prohibitive so I told the technician to hold them until I could find $500. (Which could be never in my world) He obviously misunderstood (maybe HE needs hearing aids) and had them both repaired. I continued to function with captions on the TV and lots of 'What did you say?' moments.

I had the chance to visit a long-time friend who I had not seen for a while. She and her husband sold their farm and now live in a beautiful smaller home. While enjoying lunch with them, she told me she had hearing aids. So, I told her my story. There was no whining or complaining on my part; just laughing about how many times I have no idea what someone is saying.

Before I left, she got out her checkbook and asked for the name of the company who repaired them. Then she wrote a check for the $500. I was flabbergasted...is that still a word?... I immediately said, "I don't deserve that."
She responded, "No. You don't. But I love you and I want to do this."
I laughed, took her check and will be hearing again on Friday. I didn't deserve it; I had done nothing to even remotely deserve it, I could never repay it and was not expected to; it was a gift. Free...with no strings attached.

What do we deserve from our Heavenly Father? Absolutely nothing but condemnation. Have you done something to deserve his love and forgiveness? Neither have I nor anyone else. It is a gift paid for by Jesus Christ and his death on the cross.

As I observe the season of Lent, I think about a few things: What exactly do I think I deserve in this life? Happiness every day? No troubles or sadness? No arguments or misunderstandings? Perfect friends, spouse, children?
When I realize what I really deserve, am I 'flabbergasted' by God's goodness and forgiveness and his ultimate sacrifice? I hope so.

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Observations of a 'Bell-Ringer'

12/15/2014

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Several weeks ago, on a Saturday, I volunteered to ring the bell for the Salvation Army, at a local grocery. I have done it before, but it has been a few years ago.
The weather was decent; not too cold, not windy and a little sunshine. My shift was from 11am to 1pm. There are two doors to this store and I was positioned at the least busy door. (The carts are at the other door.)
If you are a people watcher, as I am, this is an excellent opportunity for that activity.

There are several things I observed both times I rang the bell, even though I was in two totally different spots in town. One was a much more affluent neighborhood and was a busier store; however, people are people no matter where they are.
I need to mention these observations are in no way scientific and they are not good or bad; just my thoughts.
First, we volunteers are asked to not have music playing and no food or drink is allowed. I could have used a cup of coffee and perhaps something other than a small bell with a nearly non-existent clapper to accompany my rendition of Jingle Bells.

1) men are much more inclined to drop money into the bucket than women (I'm sure there is some psychological reason for that, but I will keep my armchair psychiatrist opinion to myself)

2) children LOVE to put their change in the bucket and with a smile on their face

3) one (yes, one) person 'thanked' me for volunteering. I did not expect to be thanked at all, but it was nice to hear and I have decided I am going to thank the bell ringers I encounter from now on. Even though 2 hours seems like nothing, it does get tiresome standing in one spot and your smile nearly becomes frozen on your face LOL

4) many of the people who contribute seem the least likely to have any 'extra' money

5) people are pretty certain if they can avoid making eye contact with me, they are in the clear (I make it my mission to greet and say Merry Christmas to every person which nearly forces them to acknowledge me)

6) young people, ages 18-30, are almost 100% contributors

7) several people expressed their happiness that I said the words, "Merry Christmas" rather than any other greeting

8) some people are either so shy, so paranoid, feel guilty or are so reluctant to donate, they will go to extraordinary measures to avoid it; they headed toward the door where I was, saw the kettle, and purposely walked across the parking lot to enter the other door. The sad thing about that is: I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and smile at them, regardless of whether or not they drop any coins in the kettle

9) I did not keep count (impossible) but I would estimate 85% of the people I engaged in my 2 hours, put something in. I think that is a high percentage, so kudos to the people in my neighborhood

10) I enjoy interacting with people. If you do, also, volunteer next year. You are allowed to take a child or grandchildren with you. What a marvelous way to teach a lesson about giving, different types of people and about the families who will benefit from the contributions.

Win-win situation.
Merry Christmas

*for anyone who needs to know; I am not affiliated with the Salvation Army in any way.

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Is God 'proofing' You?

11/25/2014

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I have always (it seems) enjoyed baking; especially bread, dinner rolls, cinnamon rolls, and anything else that requires yeast. Most people think anything with yeast is difficult to make; they try a few times and if the results are less than spectacular, they abandon the effort.
It isn't so difficult; there are just a few rules you have to remember. Yeast is a living element and you can kill it with temperature; either too cold or too hot. When I baked bread every week for my family, sometimes the dough would rise quickly and sometimes it would take much longer. It really didn't matter too much to me; as long as it did eventually become the size I wanted it. There were just a few times when it didn't rise at all and hours later, the dough was still just a lump in the bread pan. Ugh.

Then came the job at the convenience store; not as a cashier, but as the 'doughnut maker.' I worked during the night so the doughnuts would be fresh the next morning. As much as I knew, or thought I knew, about baking; this was a whole new ballgame.
The doughnuts came as frozen little 'tires.S I placed them on the trays and waited for them to thaw.
The person training me said, "Then you put the trays in the proofer, okay?"
I nodded and smiled and secretly withheld the information that I had never used (or seen) a proofer in my entire life. If you aren't familiar with this term either, this is what it looks like, although they come in various sizes.

It is basically a metal cabinet with slots for trays. The temperature and humidity can be set at a certain level. The dough 'proofs' or expands to the desired size and then it can be utilized (baked or fried). It is certainly a timesaver when you are making 50 dozen doughnuts.

OOPS. Sorry. It looked so good, I had to take a bite.

Since I don't own a proofer, it is always a challenge at home to find the perfect temperature and humidity for the dough. Recently I discovered the perfect place. I have an old house with wall registers.

One of those registers is directly behind a small kitchen cupboard with open shelves. I placed the covered bowl of dough on the shelf. Voila! It raised in short order. (Somehow, I don't believe this is going to work in the summer when the AC is coming through that vent.)

The point of this whole post is this: We, like the yeast, are living organisms. Jesus told us to be like the leaven, or yeast, and multiply his kingdom. (Matthew 13:33) Sometimes we allow the conditions in our lives to keep us from doing God's work, just as too much heat or cold keep the yeast from working.

Do we only follow Jesus' commands when the conditions of our lives are perfect? Perhaps we need to be 'proofed' so we can expand our knowledge of God's word and reach our full potential. Sometimes it is painful to be expanded, but the alternative: remaining a 'useless lump' is not very appealing either.

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Don't Smack the Pancakes

11/17/2014

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This post is about pancakes, a grandchild listening and what we do to other people; children, spouses, friends and acquaintances.

Many years ago, I managed a small restaurant. If you have ever been in the restaurant business, you know a good grill person is worth their weight in gold. They don't get paid that way, but they can make or break your business; especially the breakfast business.

The grill cook at this restaurant was a young man, quite adept at his job and f-a-s-t, which is a necessary skill. The one thing he insisted on doing was 'smacking' the pancakes; presumably so they would cook faster. I continuously told him, "Don't do that. You break all the bubbles in the batter and the result is a flat rubbery pancake instead of a light, fluffy one."

He would comply for a few days and then I would see him take that spatula and give each pancake a whack. Finally, after many warnings, I told him if I saw it one more time, he was fired. So he could take his choice: employment or 'do it my way.'

I have told that story many times, especially when teaching my children and grandchildren how to make pancakes. I was never certain if they listened or if they did it my way just when I was watching.

When my granddaughter had her first job, it was as an assistant grill cook at a national chain 'sit-down' family restaurant. She came home and told me this story:
"Ooh, Grandma, you will never believe it but the breakfast cook was making pancakes and when I saw him flatten them, I said, 'My grandma would have your hide if she saw you do that. That isn't the way you make pancakes.' I told him they would be much fluffier if he didn't 'smack' them."

I was beyond impressed that she had not only listened, but obviously understood the reasoning.

After I enjoyed that thought for a while, I had another. How many times do we 'flatten the bubbles' of our children, our spouse, friends and relatives? They may have bubbles of hope, laughter, enjoyment, excitement, anticipation and delight that just fill them up. But especially with children, we can, with one word or a look, smack those bubbles right out of them. We can ultimately make their lives flat and 'un-light'; just like the pancakes.

God tells us to be encouragers and blessings to people just as he encourages us.

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My Latest "God" Story

11/5/2014

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I have had many instances in my life when I can clearly see God's answers to my prayers. Occasionally, I only see them in hindsight, but they are still evident. This week, I saw not only God's answer, but the humorous and convoluted path I took to reach my destination.

In the spring of 2014, I found myself without a vehicle. A relative works at the auto auction and found a car for me. I paid cash and happily, had no car payments. It was a 1994 Chevy Cavalier, with a little over 200,000 miles on it. It drove pretty well; the wipers stayed in the 'up' position unless you turned them on High and the other little details Kalisha and I discovered after we drove it home were 1) the trunk would not open and 2) the glove box didn't open either. I jokingly mentioned there might be a body in the trunk, but there was no smell so I was okay with it.

Recently, my little Cavalier developed a water leak; not just a leak, but the kind you have to carry a gallon jug of water with you at all times. Put a gallon in when you leave home and add another when you are ready to come home and don't drive too many miles in-between. What fun. I took it to a repair shop to get a price on repairs. They found more things wrong and said it would be $600-$800 to fix it. Okay...I only paid $500 for it to begin with. I called Take-a-Part and asked for a scrap price.

In the meantime, someone wanted to buy it for the scrap price and said their husband could do the repairs. Great. Sold. Now I have no car again. I perused Craigslist every day. I asked God to please lead me to the right car in my price range (which had not increased a whole lot since I bought the Cavalier.) I love Craigslist. If you want a bit of humor in your life, just read the car descriptions for low priced cars. They may something like: "Great car, good tires, no rust...bring a trailer, no motor." OR, they sound pretty good and then you see the pictures...

There are a lot of laughs on CL in the vehicle section.

I did find several I liked, but they were in Ohio or southern IN; too far. THEN, I found one that was only a few blocks from my house. I was thanking God for making this so easy for me. WooHoo. Kalisha and I walked to the car lot; it didn't look exactly like it did on the website. I was pretty sure God wasn't leading me to this one. Two days later, there was another one at the same lot. We walked there again. This was better but needed an exhaust system. (That part wasn't mentioned in the ad.) While we were there, I found another, asked if I could take it to a mechanic to check it out the next day. Yes. Great. I called the mechanic shop and made an appointment. Now I was getting somewhere. I prayed about it every day and knew God would find the right car (But I did remind him I really needed a car by this weekend)

It was raining on Tuesday, I didn't feel like walking in the rain (yes, I do own an umbrella) so I cancelled with the man at the car lot.

Hang in here with me...it gets better.

I was too lazy to look up the mechanic's number in the phone book, so I checked my recent call numbers in my phone and was sure I chose the right one. The voice that answered said, "Hi Gloria." Whoa...a garage that has caller ID?

Obviously, it wasn't the correct number, but it was the number of a friend. We laughed about my mistake and then he said, "I have a car for you. It's in Whitley County but I'm already in Fort Wayne. I will pick you up, take you out there and if you don't like it, I will bring you back home."

I went, I drove it, I bought it, I drove it home. It is a '98 Mazda Millennia, in perfect condition and I am absolutely thrilled. More thrilled, actually, by God's answers to my prayers and the paths he led me on to the final destination. What are the odds I would mistakenly dial a phone number and that person would have a car I could afford? It's a GOD THING.

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November 05th, 2014

11/5/2014

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Do You Get That Nesting Feeling?

10/23/2014

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Fall is here, obviously. If you aren't aware of that fact, you have not been looking around you. The air is cooler, the leaves are turning beautiful colors (and falling in our yards) The smell of woodsmoke is evident as people have wiener roasts, toast marshmallows and burn some of those leaves. The color orange is everywhere, Starbucks is promoting Pumpkin Spice Lattes

and real pumpkins decorate porches and yards everywhere.

Putting all these evident signs of fall aside for a minute, let me ask you, "Do you get that nesting feeling this time of year?"

I realize the term nesting is usually used in conjunction with the last few months or weeks of a pregnancy. I remember those times (5 times to be exact) but I assure you that is not the reason now. I noticed a few weeks ago, when it started getting cooler, my primal urge to bake and cook and clean and prepare the yard and house for winter became much stronger.

I started with cleaning and sorting the inside of the house. Then I moved to the outside; I scraped and painted every wooden outside door, the overhead garage door and a shed door. If it didn't move, it got painted.

I have been making things I don't usually make; peanut butter, Velveeta-like cheese, cream soup mix, brownie mix, pizza sauce...you get the idea. I bought a new cookbook and have been reading it like a novel (haven't done that in a long time) Today I made chicken soup with vegetables

and apple kuchen.

I have been pondering this feeling and trying to decide why it seems to have taken over my life this year. I have always been a bit of a nester in the fall, but not to this degree.

I believe it has to do with the chaos in our world and while I know and believe with all my being that God is in control, I also think my need to clean, organize, bake and preserve are my control in my little world. I may not know what horrendous news will be out there tomorrow, but I know my way around the kitchen and that obviously gives me comfort.

How do you nest in the fall or do you? Leave a comment and let me know.

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Who Left That Crumb On the Counter?

9/16/2014

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At the risk of sounding like the witch from Hansel and Gretyl, I have been asking that question quite often in the past few days. Here's the story:

I decided to re-do my kitchen; not knocking out walls, etc. (I did that several years ago) but TOTALLY clean everything and sort drawer clutter, paint all cupboards that weren't attached to the walls, re-paint the countertop, and several more things. I am going to list them, not because I am trying to impress you but because it is pertinent to this story.

I scrubbed my refrigerator. You know, the kind of cleaning that requires all shelves and bins be removed, washed and dried. I scrubbed the inside of the microwave (if anyone forgets to put a paper towel over food being heated, I might have a coronary) I used Kilz on a spot on my ceiling, painted the countertops, scrubbed inside of drawers, cleaned oven (I do not have a self-cleaning oven) and racks, washed every utensil and knife in my kitchen (I don't own a dishwasher, either). I vacuumed, mopped, painted a portion of each cupboard drawer and door, removed all bric-a-brac from shelves and washed it, washed windows, and shutters...ugh. I painted the hood to the stove 9after I removed the fine layer of grease attached to it.) You get the idea; if it wasn't nailed down or permanently attached to a wall, it was scrubbed or scrubbed and painted. I realize some of you do this cleaning every week or two.....not me. I clean my refrigerator every 6 months...makes you want to eat at my house, doesn't it?

Every single thing in or on a surface was moved to the dining room table for a few days. I even sewed a new valance for the window below the transom (yes, I have an old house.)

As I was cleaning and sweating and rearranging, I was thinking how similar my kitchen was to my life. I don't REALLY, THOROUGHLY, clean my heart and thoughts every day. I give it a 'lick and a promise' by asking God for forgiveness of the sins I can remember for that day. I don't think about the ones hidden and forgotten, like the dried-up apple I found behind the crisper drawer in the refrigerator.

When it was all done and everything was back in place, I was so proud of it, I nearly burst. I just stood and looked at it.

My grandson came home and before he could say anything, I asked, "So, what do you think?"

He looked around and said, "Well, it all looks nice, but honestly, Grandma, it really doesn't look that much different."

You know, he almost had to pick himself up off the floor. I'm kidding....I realized he was right. I knew how much cleaner everything was, but to someone just looking around, it probably did look about the same.

Back to my analogy: when I ask God for forgiveness for all my sins; the forgotten ones and the ones I'm not even aware of, and I make a commitment to scrub some of my bad habits, I know how much better I feel, but my friends probably don't notice.

The next step, of course, is what happens now. I have threatened anyone who might even consider getting something out and not putting it away again. Pick up every thing you use, wash it and put it in the cupboard; cover things in the microwave, pick up every crumb.

To say I am being a bit tyrannical could be an understatement. However, the kids know... and I know... at some point, I will be in a hurry and crumbs won't get cleaned up. The shelves in the door of the refrigerator will eventually look like they did prior to The Great Cleaning.

AND...my newly-cleaned life will fall back into old habits and poor choices. Then I will have to start over again. God knows we can't be perfect and he also knows we continuously make mistakes, even though we try hard. He always forgives us and encourages us to start over.

*For right now, don't leave a crumb on the counter, ok?

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Has Your Pause Button Malfunctioned?

8/26/2014

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Recently, I made a pot of coffee as I do every morning. Since I am a bit of an impatient person and I really wanted that first cup of coffee, I pulled the carafe out and started to fill my cup before it was done brewing.

Unfortunately, the 'pause' mechanism, or whatever the little 'thingy' is called that allows me to do that, was not functioning properly. I had my cup in one hand, the glass carafe in the other and a stream of coffee running freely everywhere (even though I was shouting, "Stop. Stop.")

I tried putting the carafe back, but by this time, the bottom plate was filled with the brown liquid and that only made it run all over the counter.

This was doing nothing to help my morning, especially since I still had not tasted my coffee. It smelled great, as it was running onto the counter and then onto the floor. As always, I was barefoot, so I was doing a little jig trying to keep it from landing on my feet and still trying, unsuccessfully, to get the danged thing to stop making coffee. Yes, I did hit the 'off'' button, but evidently, it takes a while for the brains of the coffee maker to get the message.

So, half a roll of paper towels, wet feet and wet floor and I still didn't have a cup of coffee. I proceeded to make a new pot, waited until it was done brewing (my momma didn't raise no dummies) and, at last, was able to savor the wonderful taste of my first cup of coffee in the morning.....or maybe it was mid-morning by now....all the while muttering about pause mechanisms.

As I read my devotions, I became very aware of God asking me about MY pause mechanism. Was it functioning or was my life 'running all over the place?' Hmmmm......I have to admit I don't pause too often. Yes, I stop to smell the roses, as the old saying goes, but that isn't an actual pause with a purpose.

I am a list maker and usually make my list of things to accomplish the next day right before I go to bed. When I open my eyes, my first thoughts are usually about the things on that list. I do start each day with bible reading and devotions, but as soon as I'm done, I am off to accomplish something. If I would pause for a few extra minutes; not necessarily praying or reading, but just sitting, thinking about my family, my friends; wouldn't my day be better? Possibly.

What about 'pausing' before making a retort to someone or before commenting on a FB post we don't agree with or before saying something hurtful or words we were supposed to keep confidential?

Years ago, Coke had a commercial tagline. It described the soft drink as 'The Pause That Refreshes."

I believe a pause in our days, our thoughts, our speaking and our rushing about might very well be refreshing; to our minds, our hearts and our souls.

Remember to pause for a few minutes tomorrow as you make your coffee and several more times during the day.

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August 05th, 2014

8/5/2014

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As many of you know, for the past 18 months, I have stayed with a 96-year-old gentleman every Monday for 3 hours to allow his wife, Shirley, a few hours to do what ever she needed to do.

On Saturday, July 26th, Ralph Burgess left this world to live in his heavenly home. Shirley asked me and 2 others to speak at Ralph's funeral. While thinking about what I wanted to say, I decided to focus on the things I learned from Ralph.

Ralph loved his family and his Lord and although you may not have known him, I believe we could all learn a few things from Ralph and his many years of wisdom.

Below is a copy of my words.

I have known Ralph and Shirley for about 5 years, but for the last 18 months, I stayed with Ralph for 3 hours every Monday so Shirley could run errands, grocery shop or have lunch with friends.

It was during those 3-hour visits I really got to know Ralph. When he wasn’t napping, he was quite the conversationalist. We discussed events from his childhood, the Marine Corps, his working days and many other subjects. Between us, we remembered all the state capitals. One Monday, I made a list of the 12 things I learned from Ralph and I think we can all apply them to our lives.

Independence: Ralph didn’t give up. Even though he couldn’t see well, he continued with his daily routine. It would have been easy to say, “I can’t do it.” But he didn’t.
Eat a variety of foods. No matter what I fixed him for lunch, he ate it. I’m sure there were some things he didn’t care for, but he was a ‘clean-plater.’
Keep your memories alive. Not all of his memories were pleasant ones, but he still remembered the events and feelings and the lessons learned from some of those experiences.
Recall childhood. We should all remember to tell our children, grandchildren some stories from our childhood. What better way to know someone? I loved the stories about riding his pony to school and growing up in So. Dakota. He told me there were only 4 students at the school but then a family with 4 children moved in and the student body doubled overnight.
It’s okay to shed a tear or two about some memories. Ralph would tell the story and perhaps cry a bit but then move on to something else.
Be appreciative. He appreciated the things people did for him. I can’t tell you how many times, he said, “I don’t know what I’d do without Shirley” Sometimes we forget to tell people how much we appreciate them.
He listened to good music. The radio was always on with no commercials or loud noises. Some days, we would discuss the song or the singer. He could name many of them.
Have a few regrets. I don’t think we should dwell on regrets and Ralph didn’t, but occasionally he would mention something he regretted doing or saying. That’s okay; how else do we learn?
Keep your sense of humor. He would be talking about FDR and would ask me what I thought of his presidency. I would give him a hard time telling him FDR died before I was born! He always laughed and would say, “Oh yeah, I forget you’re not as old as me.” I’m pretty sure he did it on purpose but I told him I forgave him because he couldn’t see so well.
Routine: Life seems to function a bit better if we have a routine and stick to it. Ralph ate lunch at 1pm. Even if he slept in and ate breakfast at 11:30 when I arrived, he was ready for lunch at 1.
Take naps. Ralph did take many naps but I think the world would be a better place if we all took a few minutes for a nap each day.
Tuck the blanket around your legs. Ralph had a blue blanket and when he sat down in his recliner, he wasn’t comfortable until he had the blanket tucked in tight around his legs. We may not have a blanket, but if we tuck God’s love around us tightly, no evil or distress can get in.