I celebrated my 55th birthday in 2001. At that time, I didn't know what the term 'bucket list' meant. Now, it seems everyone has a list of things they would like to accomplish before they die...a bucket list. These lists usually include things like sky-diving, bungee cord jumping, climbing Mt Everest, etc. I was going to write about my list but I think I have done things in the last 12 years that are almost as exciting. (I said exciting, not necessarily happy or wise.) That's why the title is my Upside-Down Bucket List.
I will try to put these in chronological order, but we're talking about 12 years here, so a little forgiveness of timeline mistakes may be necessary.
I will try to put these in chronological order, but we're talking about 12 years here, so a little forgiveness of timeline mistakes may be necessary.
#1) I married him in 1962 (picture is from '62). We divorced after 38 years. I don't have too much to say about that; at least not anything you would want to read. We had been separated for 4 years prior to the divorce being final, so I had time to get used to checking the 'D' box on forms and a few other things that change when you get a divorce.
#2) I got a tattoo. Despite what you may think, this had nothing to do with #1. My friend, Sherry and I went to Detroit to spend the weekend with our other long-time friend, Kathy. On Saturday evening, we got all gussied up, went downtown for an elegant dinner followed by the live performance of Mama Mia. We got home very late, fell asleep and when we awoke the next morning, we decided we needed to do something exciting before we went home. So.. the consensus was to get tattoos. (This was 2001 and not every person in the world had one.) I wish I had a picture of the man's face when 3 fifty-plus women walked in and said they all wanted a tattoo. I like mine and its location, but let's just say if gravity continues, the feathers might be tickling my navel by the time I get to the nursing home.
#3) I had to get my GED, because the University of Saint Francis
wouldn't accept my 'correspondence course diploma' (see #4)
#4) I applied for college entrance. I received scholarships because I was: a) female b)single c) old..(55) and d) scored high on entrance exams and my GED. I enjoyed college and discovering I had retained most of my brain cells. I made the dean's list which was kind of exciting.
#5) In 2002, I became an orphan. My mother had died 9 years earlier, and when my father died after several years of Alzheimer's, it struck me how in a moment, I had become the 'elder' generation.
#3) I had to get my GED, because the University of Saint Francis
wouldn't accept my 'correspondence course diploma' (see #4)
#4) I applied for college entrance. I received scholarships because I was: a) female b)single c) old..(55) and d) scored high on entrance exams and my GED. I enjoyed college and discovering I had retained most of my brain cells. I made the dean's list which was kind of exciting.
#5) In 2002, I became an orphan. My mother had died 9 years earlier, and when my father died after several years of Alzheimer's, it struck me how in a moment, I had become the 'elder' generation.
#6) I have 5 children. They all lived within 25 miles of me, but in 2002, my daughter, Kari and her husband and their baby boy moved to Houston, TX. Wow. I had never had any long-distance children before. It was a hard thing. AND then........
 #7) I decided I could no longer afford, monetarily or work-wise, the 14 acre farm where I had lived for 30 years. All the kids had been raised there. Memories, memories, memories. 4-H fairs, baling hay, gardens, animals and my goats. I had a Grade A goat Dairy, consisting of approximately 75 does, plus bucks, breeding stock, etc. I had to find good homes for all of them. Needless to say, it was a tearful goodbye to a huge chunk of my life. 
 #8) Kalisha and I moved to Fort Wayne to an apartment complex. It was beautiful, but with the exception of a few years, I had lived in the country my entire life. I adjusted. I drove Kalisha back and forth to school for the whole school year, so she could graduate from her high school. My last child graduated. Whew. |
#9) I 'retired' from a job that I loved. I had been the Director of Children's Ministries at a fairly large church for 10 years, but I thought it was time to do something else. They gave me a nice 'send-off.' Another bittersweet moment.
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# 10) I abandoned the apartment living and bought a house. Next door to another daughter and her 4 children. That probably would not be on most peoples' bucket list.
Did you know you can be 61 and still get a 30-year mortgage? Like I'm going to live to be 91..maybe.
Did you know you can be 61 and still get a 30-year mortgage? Like I'm going to live to be 91..maybe.
# 11) The next year I bought a convertible. Electric blue or Colts blue. I loved it. Sometimes if it was chilly, I would put the top down and turn the heater on.
# 12) I became a great-grandmother, several times. How is that even possible?
#13) I decided to officially retire and collect SS 2 years early. In retrospect, not a smart thing to do.
#14) I had knee replacement surgery. That's not on most bucket lists either, but it is if you need it. I love my new knee. I would do it again tomorrow if I needed it.
#15) I watched 3 of my very good friends, my age and younger, die of cancer. It makes a person appreciate a lot of things.
#16) Two of my teenage grandchildren moved in with me and Kalisha. That might actually be on a bucket list if you didn't have to ride with them while they learn to drive and get their licenses. I will say my perspective has changed since I taught MY kids how to drive. Then, it was, "Watch the car. Don't get too close and wreck the car." Now it was, " Cars can be replaced. Just try not to kill us both, okay?" And you wonder why I have gray hair.
#17) I made the decision to be a full-time writer. I believe that is what God wanted me to do. That decision came with a high price tag. No money, literally, very little. Absolutely nothing extra. No Friday night pizza, no vacations, no driving too far because of gas prices, etc. etc. With 4 of us living here, I did something else I had never done in my lifetime. I..
#18) applied for food stamps and for a while, I stood in line at a food distribution center. Probably the most humbling experience of my life.
Through all of these things I have done, or endured, or survived, since I became 55 years old, I have learned to rely on God for every thing, every day; to follow His leading in spite of everything, to appreciate other people and to be less judgmental of others' circumstances and to realize..Life Goes On, even with major changes, loss of loved ones and loss of material things. I have mellowed and kept my sense of humor for the most part.
One more thing..I signed up at an online dating site. What a hilarious thing, but I will write about that another time.
#13) I decided to officially retire and collect SS 2 years early. In retrospect, not a smart thing to do.
#14) I had knee replacement surgery. That's not on most bucket lists either, but it is if you need it. I love my new knee. I would do it again tomorrow if I needed it.
#15) I watched 3 of my very good friends, my age and younger, die of cancer. It makes a person appreciate a lot of things.
#16) Two of my teenage grandchildren moved in with me and Kalisha. That might actually be on a bucket list if you didn't have to ride with them while they learn to drive and get their licenses. I will say my perspective has changed since I taught MY kids how to drive. Then, it was, "Watch the car. Don't get too close and wreck the car." Now it was, " Cars can be replaced. Just try not to kill us both, okay?" And you wonder why I have gray hair.
#17) I made the decision to be a full-time writer. I believe that is what God wanted me to do. That decision came with a high price tag. No money, literally, very little. Absolutely nothing extra. No Friday night pizza, no vacations, no driving too far because of gas prices, etc. etc. With 4 of us living here, I did something else I had never done in my lifetime. I..
#18) applied for food stamps and for a while, I stood in line at a food distribution center. Probably the most humbling experience of my life.
Through all of these things I have done, or endured, or survived, since I became 55 years old, I have learned to rely on God for every thing, every day; to follow His leading in spite of everything, to appreciate other people and to be less judgmental of others' circumstances and to realize..Life Goes On, even with major changes, loss of loved ones and loss of material things. I have mellowed and kept my sense of humor for the most part.
One more thing..I signed up at an online dating site. What a hilarious thing, but I will write about that another time.
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